Decisions, Decisions

Nancy Liu Chin asked me to guest blog for her a while back and I finally stumbled across a topic that I was very excited to discuss. So excited in fact, that I thought I’d share the article with you, though you can see the original post here. Because it’s about the difficulty of making decisions, I thought this bouquet board was a perfect accompaniment.

{Credits listed after the jump}

I stumbled across the following post on a forum, and it inspired me to write a few decision making techniques that will hopefully help those of us that are crippled with indecision.

Hello all,

I’m hoping I’m not alone… but I’m starting to feel really fed up! I can’t seem to make a decision, I think because I want it all to be so perfect… and scared I could get it soooo wrong! I can’t make a decision.

The dress…. sooooo confused! Invitations… perhaps there is far too much choice. Flowers…?? Colours …??

It’s all overwhelming! H2b thinks we have loads of time to decide… JULY 2010.

My family is not helpful… Friends are great but I think I’m driving them mad, and to be honest they have their own lives.

I’m living wedding, dreaming wedding!! What the hell will be I be like on the day? It’s overwhelming!!! I can’t seem to shut off from it, however don’t seem to be getting anywhere…if that makes sense.

Ok Rant OVER! xx

This rant really resonated with me, not only because, as a stylist and designer I often feel the same way, but also because I know lots of brides who struggle with a similar sense of overwhelming indecision!

With so many wonderful wedding resources, magazines, and blogs out there, finding wedding inspiration has never been easier. Making decisions, on the other hand, has never been more difficult. Every day, we’re lured into a state of absolute indecision by another real wedding, inspiration board or fabulous vendor feature. How is one to decide when there’s just too much good stuff out there??? Well, I can’t profess to have all the answers, but I thought I’d share a few decision-making tools (which are sometimes about the process of elimination) that might help the committal process!

Read the rest after the jump!

  1. Consider the venue. Usually, the first commitment most brides make (besides saying YES!) is where to book the wedding. For most brides, because guest list, budget, location, and availability are such huge considerations, the venue choices are naturally narrowed down. Once that decision is made, allow the venue to dictate the style and tone of your wedding. An outdoor garden is going to have a very different feel from an artist’s loft. This first step helps eliminate a good percentage of choices. Also, if you’ve chosen a venue with a reception room that is embellished with say, maroon carpeting and drapery, choosing canary yellow as your main color may not be the direction you want to go.
  2. Consider the season. Seasonal design isn’t set in stone, but if you are completely undecided between a few color palettes, consider the time of year your wedding will take place. Kelly green and navy blue might be way more fun for a spring wedding than say, brown and copper, which might work better in the fall.
  3. Consider your sense of style. When you are trolling through blogs and magazines for inspiration, start off by bookmarking or saving your favorite images, no matter how different they may be. After you’ve collected a hefty amount, go through the bulk of them (perhaps with your maid of honor or husband to be) and discuss each one. Ask yourself: What am I attracted to in this image? How does this image make me feel? Begin to catalogue your ideas and what you find most appealing. Is it a specific tone of color (cool or warm?) or is it a sense of style (elegant, rustic or chic?). Then begin to narrow down what you are most often attracted to. Keeping in tune with who you are is extremely important! You may love the look of a chic black and white wedding, but if everything else you choose in your daily life is rustic and vintage, then a modern look may not be the right direction! Allow your wedding to be a reflection of YOU!
  4. Consider a theme. Brides are often confused by “themes”: Does that mean my wedding has to have a “Midsummer Night’s” theme? How do I think up a theme? Also, I often have brides email me concerned that choosing a theme means their wedding will be “theme-y”. This is absolutely not the case. A theme, really, is just a set of keywords that conjure up feelings, images, and subsequently a direction for your wedding. You might have a vintage farm theme for example. So maybe for dessert, you serve pies, which have a very “homemade farm” feel to them. A theme can lend itself to subtle touches that when combined convey a specific feeling and quality. Your guests don’t need to be bowled over by a theme. Rather, it’s there to help you stay focused and to inspire additional ideas! Also, when it comes to invites and flowers, for example, approach your vendors with a THEME, rather than a list of specifics. Allow them, as artists, to begin by casting their own vision. Rather than micro-manage, allow your designers to do what they do best (DESIGN) and you may end up with a much better result than if you had demanded something too specific. My vendor colleagues complain all the time about brides who have no vision: “If only the bride had just let me do my thing, her wedding would have been magazine worthy! Too bad.”
  5. Consider connection! When it comes to choosing vendors, the amount of options are limitless. Really. Once you’ve narrowed down a few favorites based on pricing, availability, location, portfolio, etc… meet with them. Sometimes, the only way to make a decision is perhaps based on how well you connect. I heard recently about a couple that had some really fun ideas for décor, but when they met with the florist, she immediately shot them down. This florist was supposed to be the absolute best, so what a disappointment for her to completely shoot down their vision. The couple ended up meeting with a lesser known, but equally talented florist who was really excited about their ideas. Their personalities and vision really clicked, so they went with her. There’s nothing worse than working with wedding vendors who have over-inflated egos and insist on their own agenda, rather than yours! Sometimes, credentials only go so far, so if you really can’t decide, make sure you love your vendors and that they love you back!
  6. Hire a pro! If you still are completely overwhelmed, hire a pro! Many brides know they can plan their own wedding, but they just need a little jump-start to give them vision. Some designers, including myself, offer a design consultation service. For a remarkably smaller fee than hiring someone to do all the work for you, a design consultation will allow you collaborate with a pro on all of your design elements, leaving you to do the work and implement them. You’ll walk away with a really specific concept, color palette, and even an inspiration board and vendor recommendations to get you started and keep you focused!
  7. Commit! Once you’ve decided on a direction, commit to it. You can still get great ideas to incorporate into your look, but don’t deviate from what you’ve already decided on. If a new pretty idea or vendor pops up, admire them and move on. Stay focused and be confident in your decision!

{Credits}

1. Lauryl Lane shot by Jeanna Hayes 2. Kristin Spencer 3. Saipua via Once Wed 4. Lauryl Lane shot by Jasmine Star 5. Jose Villa 6. Stephanie Williams via Green Wedding Shoes 7. Martha Stewart Weddings 8. Style Me Pretty 9. Trever Hoehne

12 Comments

Filed under Decor, Flowers, Inspiration

12 responses to “Decisions, Decisions

  1. this is a great article! i am planning a wedding in april, and i think the advice of saving photos as you see things you like is so helpful!

    and p.s. i love that butterfly bouquet. i’m debating between doing that or flowers, but whatta ya know, i can’t decide!

  2. Grey

    Yes! I’m so glad you liked the article. Saving a file of photos will be a life saver…especially if you start to notice a common theme that you’re attracted to. It also gives you something specific to give to your vendors!

    I LOVE that butterfly bouquet too… Oh the torture!

  3. I was so glad to read that I was not the only one literally having wedding nightmares six months before the day even begins – everyone else thinks it sounds ridiculous and I guess it pretty much does but they were really starting to get to me! I’ve since decided to hire someone for my day of decor and overall organization – best move I made! And I think I’ll really be thankfull the day of because I’ll be breathing with ease and that’ll make all the differance in the world for me and everyone involved in our lovely day.

    Thanks for the fab article!

    xo

  4. britpopbaby

    Thank you so much for that great advice! I’m not quite at the stage of having nightmares but could easily see myself going that way. I am definitely going to follow your advice of doing what works best for us as a couple; if it doesn’t reflect our personalities and feel like ‘us’ then it won’t be the best day of our lives. I also have to think carefully about our venue as we’re getting married at the the zoo!

  5. Probably the best article ever. I’ve been having a really hard time with this!!! So much inspiration out there, and although we’re on a budget, I think it might be worth the sanity and the disappointment of it not working out the way we’d like to do a consultation with someone. Thanks so much!!

  6. enjoy your blog🙂

    wondering if your familiar with her
    http://princesslasertron.com/

  7. Pingback: One Cohesive Idea | Inspirations & Creations - Elizabeth Anne Designs: The Wedding Blog

  8. elana

    Such a great great post. It’s soo true that there is just too much amazing inspiration out there. I’ve been hit with the wedding blogs spell and it definitely can be preoccupying. I’ve already decided on a venue (outdoor garden) in June. I’ve chosen my colors (purple and white/beige) and I feel confident that i’m staying true to me and my fiance’s personality. However despite the fact that I have chosen I continue to look. Even when you see an idea that you love and it’s not “your colors” or “theme” it can be adapted. Thanks for the wonderful post Grey. You’re blog is one of my faves for sure!!

  9. I love the butterfly bouquet! What a great inspiration.

  10. jess b

    so… do you consult long-distance?

  11. Grey

    Yes!!! I totally do. Email me at greylikesweddings@gmail.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s